first- thanks for the encouragement for those of you who have read my blog, I need to write more to express what it is that goes on inside my crazy head.
Today I want to talk a little bit about what a nice guy needs in order to be confident around women that the nice guy finds attractive. This is a positive self image. TV, Movies, the Internet, and even the people around us bombard us with so many false views of self image that it can completely destroy ones own view of self. Women are hit harder than men, however those of the male gender are not excluded from the degrading view that the world has of what a "real man" is. This view paints the picture of a chiseled, rich, Ferrari driving, beer drinking, womanizing, selfish, egotistical guy who is only allowed to cry in the shower or maybe if he is stuck in a rainstorm so no one can see his tears. He isn't allowed to say what he feels and is encouraged to just "hit it and quit it". Immorality is not only flaunted but encouraged if you are to live according to how the world views a real man. so many movies like American pie , super bad, and 40 year old virgin, consider a man who has not had sex with a girl as undesirable and in fact the whole goal of the protagonist is to loose that virginity so they can "come of age." We are encouraged to treat women as if they are objects of our desires and nothing more. All of this and more contribute to a false self image that makes the nice guy look as if HE is undesirable. This leads to a feeling that he is constantly being compared to others and he looks around for approval of those who really are " ...in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers..." As a result we lose many nice guys who are "ashamed" and decide to join those who are pointing and mocking. This cannot happen any longer. I see too many of these good guys my age who give in to this and in the end, make decisions that they later regret.
To start off in the process of building the correct self image, it is necessary to try and remove as much of these influences in our lives as possible. stop watching inappropriate television shows that are "hilarious but are kind of crude" do not allow yourself to give in to Rated- R movies and even a lot of PG-13 movies that portray this type of thinking. Stop Playing the video games with the scantily clad women. This may seem extreme but it is essential if you are to "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly" as described in the first part of the Nice Guy Theory. I am telling you this takes away so many weapons that the adversary would use against us to try and destroy our happiness.
The next step is to realize what a gift it is to be able to have a body. this one sometimes is hard for me because mine has a tendency to break down on my quite frequently and it often requires more vigilance in my gratitude. The reason I say be grateful for your body is because God loved you enough to give you the one that you have right now, even with all of it's short comings. Think of the one third that were given the ultimate punishment by being banned from ever being able to have their spirits clothed in a tabernacle of clay. that means no "comfy clothes day", no exhilarating rush from riding that sweet roller coaster, and one of the biggest ones for me, no feelings of completeness as "soul meets soul on lovers lips" ( i got that off of my facebook fortune cookie). Having a body is such a wonderful gift and so we should first off be grateful for the fact that we have one.
Part of being grateful is taking care of the body that you have been given. That does this mean? Well it means we can't keep feeding it with all the junk that is so easily available. Don't worry I'm not asking you to give up fast food and pizza, but i am asking that you use them in moderation. An occasional pizza or burger isn't going to kill us and I don't want you to feel guilty for going and eating a piece of birthday cake. our bodies are built to handle them in moderation. This means we gotta actually eat healthy though for the other 18 meals of the week which may mean we might actually have to learn how to cook. ~gasp~ yes we are big boys and it wouldn't kill us to learn what to do with a potato or how to prepare spaghetti and meatballs, in fact a nice romantic dinner made completely by the guy is a great idea to add to your list of good date ideas. you don't have to get all crazy though when starting out, you can start by replacing french fries with an apple or an orange and your 64 oz of mt dew with a glass of milk.
another part of taking care of your body is making sure that you are comfortable with how you look. I know i myself have found myself in my former days flexing in front of the mirror wishing i had Brad Pitt's chiseled upper body. remember you are who you are and you don't have to be a muscle bound freak to be attractive to a girl. Girls are a lot less shallow than guys and they have a tendency to look more on who you are as a person anyway. exercise however isn't frowned upon and in fact can be a pleasant experience if we aren't worried about how we look. if we make it a relaxing experience, one where endorphins are released and one that simply leaves us feeling good about ourselves because we have accomplished something. Exercise actually helps with disciplining yourself and can help you as you master overcoming your natural tendencies. so give it a shot, but don't feel like you have to go all out on the first try.
in conclusion i am sick of other people telling me what i am supposed to think of myself. I want to simply be grateful for what i have. by doing this when i am on a date with a girl that i am interested in, i don't have to worry about how i look and will be able to focus my attentions on her for the evening. that's all for today.